My uniquely interesting and totally faschinating story of teaching English in Japan. Not.

I've gotten over my reading binge of Samurai murder mysteries.  The last one I read kept referring to "Tokyo".  It was set in the Sengoku period.  I know have a life mission which involves hunting down the writer of that book and causing him bodily injury.  Or maybe just writing a bad review for it.

Now, when I go on Amazon, I get recommendations of any book related to Japan.  Being blissfully ignorant, I'd never realised there is this whole genre of "I went to Japan and taught English" books. 

That's it.  That's the whole hook.  Not "I went to Japan to teach English and ... [insert interesting and literary hook worthy event]".

Who reads that shit?  In what kind of peanuts for brains head would that kind of book be considered at all interesting?

When I was thinking of moving to Japan, I went on some forums.  Realised that 90% of Japan forums (like any other kind of forum in the world) is full of complete and utter douchebags.  Actually maybe the Japan forums are a bit higher in the douchebaggery.

Then I talked to friends who had been to Japan and done the whole thing.  Maybe a hundred years ago, living in Japan was an amazing, crazy adventure.  Nowadays you can bet pretty much everyone has someone in their circle of friends who has spent time teaching in Japan (or knows someone who did). 

That's the best kind of research because you can assess the information against the given.

I can pretty much guess the type of shit that is going to be in those books.  Oh the wacky Japan, they make you take off your shoes before you enter the house!!!!  Zoinks.  And check this out, I went to an onsen and got nekkid.

Even worse are the American writers who crap on about the unique Japanese shit ... that is NOT unique.  The Japanese have their toilet separate from their bathroom?  I'm pretty sure I've seen that before in Australia.  The Japanese are humble and don't brag about their possessions?  So does everyone else who's not a complete wanker!

Seriously people, unless you taught English to some remote Ainu tribe or maybe the children of the Imperial Household, your story IS NOT INTERESTING.  Go write something else.  Or maybe don't.