The Most Important Thing I Left In Japan

If, after reading that title, you are expecting me to wax all lyrical about how I left something metaphorical like my hopes or dreams or illusions in Japan, you don't know me very well.

Hopes and dreams are all well and good, but I left something far more precious behind - my favourite bra.

If you are a guy or maybe a chick on the smaller end of the cup scale, you might not think that such a big deal but it is.  Shopping for a bra is not like buying other underwear.  It's not like popping into a store for a pair of socks or some knickers.  It's like pouring the concrete block for a house then putting up the trusses and ... whatever... I don't really know that much about building houses.  But there's a whole lot of stuff to consider.

For example, if the straps are too thin, they cut into your shoulders and cause pain.  If the back is too narrow, it causes the type of clevage you don't want. 

Also, you have to get fitted.  And that is time consuming. 

Also also, bras are NOT cheap.

It's all a pain in the arse really so I'd rather buy a couple of bras and wear them until I can't wait them any more.

So leaving my bra in Japan is a huge deal for me.

It looked kinda like this.  I can't find one the same online so I can't even reorder it. Note: My stomach probably didn't look like this when I was wearing it!!!!

And, aside from the inconvenience, there's the whole - WHERE THE FUCK IS IT? question.

When I first got home, I thought I'd just been slack about unpacking - either it was in another bag  or I'd put it somewhere strange and it'd turn up eventually.

Now I've come to accept that it has really gone.

Before we left our apartment, we cleaned the place like mofos.  We really wanted to make sure we got our deposit back.  There was nothing in the cupboards or under the bed or any other place.

That leads me to the very likely suspicion that it was stolen.  We had a communal laundry in our building and some dodgy characters living there.

I'm pretty sure some hentai old Japanese guy is, as I type, sitting there wearing my bra as a hat.  Maybe him and his equally hentai brother are wearing a cup each!  They are pretending they are Siamese twins connected at the head!  It's totally possible and very disturbing.

If ever you are in the Itabashi-ku area and see one or more people wearing a black Berlei bra on their head, please steal it and send it back to me.